日期：2017-06-26 17:33:33 来源：www.jnzyxlzx.com
Character change. I used to think about problems, and doing things as individuals. She used to be a daughter, a son, a classmate, a friend, and a colleague. A marriage, I contacted the environment changed, my character has changed, there should be different from the past different rules behave, also to the role of husband and wife, son and daughter-in-law, these new roles have new responsibilities and content, if we use the original characters are used in the use of new role, often go to the wall. Just as we talk to our leaders in the unit and speak with our parents, it will make people feel different from the environment. If we force the direction of the wrong, it will make you tired, but failed to achieve the goal.
Two, system coordination. We lit in some parts of the body, if not to cause analysis, fire or fire is Yang or Yin, is outside the fire or fire, then we use simple purging fire, accidentally will bring harm to the whole body second times. In our new home in the face of things, only care about their emotions of fear, not aware of other members in the system of thought, it will disrupt the family balance system, family members will feel annoyed, for a long time, he will use the same behavior back to you. It's a vicious circle that hurts the most intimate people.
Three, understand each other's personality. Know thyself, know yourself. Everyone has different personalities. We should try to understand the character of new family members so that we can get along better with them. Understand that when others are inconsistent with our thinking, it is his character, values and we are different, but not love me, deny me. Seek common ground while reserving differences. Human character is divided into: peaceful type, active type, perfect type and strength type.
Four. Work together to set family goals. These include economic goals, marital goals, parenting goals, and goals with native families. In my consultation case, I find that husbands and wives quarrel and get away from their goals, but they don't know what they are. If the marriage is built for happiness and warmth, mutual support and etc., but is to quarrel who say, who should listen to anyone --- we have to understand that we are facing on the basis of love, we see things is beneficial or harmful? To be win-win, not two defeats.
Five, happiness in their own hands. I heard a lot of marriage between men and women, as long as he (she) has changed, as long as he (she) to listen to my words, as long as he (she) do not go out to drink, as long as he (she) can get along well with my mother, I would have no trouble, my problem is because of him. Little imagine, he gave his happiness to each other, let each other to be responsible for their emotions, self lost, but I do not know. We should know clearly that only we can control our own happiness. No one can fully satisfy his happiness, including his parents.
Six. Prepare before remarriage. If you are married, have a strong sense of insecurity (now the first marriage also have no sense of security). Always worry about bad things happen, when the economy, children and other issues, more inclined to stand on their children's side, and parents worry about problems, try to stand on the other side of the child. A spouse who doesn't understand affects feelings; a child doesn't understand that mom or dad doesn't love me anymore. The priority we should follow the family system: when a couple of family, family system than their original family first, second marriages than in first priority, if a new partner in the remarriage with previous relationships of children, so children related links and love must be preferred than the new partner status. The couple will be full of problems when new couples demand children who prefer old relationships, or when new parties take over the love that belonged to the parent relationship.
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