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济南心理咨询中心教您如何应对朋友的抱怨
日期:2016-11-23 16:04:46 来源:www.jnzyxlzx.com

  现在社会我们更容易感受到压力,在遇到压力或烦恼的时候,我们会向朋友倾诉、抱怨,同样,我们也会接收到来自朋友的倾诉和抱怨。对于来自朋友们的抱怨,我们该如何应对?

  Now we are more likely to feel the pressure of society, in the face of pressure or trouble, we will talk to friends, complain, the same, we will receive from friends to talk and complain. How should we respond to complaints from friends?济南心理咨询

  一、认同对方的痛苦,而不是提供问题解决方法。当一个人开始抱怨的时候,并不是为了寻求问题解决的方法,只是为了表达内心的情绪和感受,同时为了在抱怨中感受自己的价值。表达和宣泄情绪很好理解,对人对事情对外界的不满总是需要一些方式来宣泄的。而抱怨的另外一层意思是这样理解的:你看我多么惨!我居然可以承受这么多的痛苦,你完全想象不到吧?如果把你放在我这个位置上,你不一定能承受的了这些!你佩服我吧!换言之,通常这类朋友因为常年累积自怨自艾的情绪,以至于自卑感很重,也不觉得自己有甚么能力或才能值得炫耀。 恶性循环下,对于自己处在悲惨状况的忍耐力,反而会觉得那是自己感到自豪的东西。

  First, identify with each other's pain, rather than provide a solution to the problem. When a person begins to complain, not in order to seek a solution to the problem, just to express inner feelings and feelings, and in order to feel the value of their own in the complaint. Express and give vent to the mood is very good understanding, to the people of things to the outside world is always need some way to vent. Another way to complain is to understand that you see how miserable I am! I can bear so much pain, you can not imagine it? If you put me in this position, you may not be able to bear these! You admire me! In other words, usually this kind of friends because perennial accumulation self pity, that sense of inferiority is very heavy, don't feel what is worth showing off or to. A vicious spiral, for their miserable condition in endurance, but will feel that she is proud of.

  二、给他一个更惨的故事。这个朋友虽然对自己的处境感到自豪却又抱怨,往往说明眼前的压力超出了他的承受范围。单纯只是肯定,他很可能还是处在强烈的负面情绪中。所以第二步该做的,是赶快给他一个更惨的故事。

  Two, give him a more tragic story. The friend, though proud of his situation, complained that the pressure in front of him was beyond his limits. Simply be sure that he is likely to be in a strong negative mood. So the second step should be done, is to give him a more tragic story.

  人的快乐没有绝对值,都是比较而言的。所以当你有朋友不断来找你抱怨时,如果你确定你的朋友没打算做一些自我的根本改变,那给他的帮助就是给他一个更惨的故事,让他重新燃起希望。

  There is no absolute value of the person's happiness, are relatively speaking. So when you have a friend to come to you to complain, if you are sure that your friend did not intend to do some of the fundamental changes in their own, then to his help is to give him a more tragic story, let him re ignite hope.


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