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害羞的孩子需要多鼓励
日期:2017-02-08 14:02:23 来源:www.jnzyxlzx.com

  木木1岁多时,妈妈经常带他出去玩,遇到生人,木木不肯打招呼,也不愿说话,妈妈便为他打圆场说:“这孩子比较害羞。” 妈妈以为孩子小听不懂没当一回事,而今木木已经5岁了、妈妈的话却像种子一样洒播在他的心里,生根发芽,并逐渐成为他进行自我评价的标准,结果,木木不知不觉中真的成为妈妈说的那种孩子。人多时,木木依然是很害羞,他经常向别人转述妈妈的话。“妈妈说我是一个很害羞的孩子。”每当妈妈听到孩子如此评价自己,后悔不已,没想到自己无意识的诊断,竟会在孩子幼小的心灵打上烙印。

  Wood 1 years old, my mother often took him out to play, meet people, wood Mubuken greeting, do not want to talk to him, my mother would say that: "this child is very shy." My mother thought the child couldn't understand when not a small thing, but wood is 5 years old, my mother's words are like seeds spread to take root in his heart, and gradually become his self evaluation standard, the results, to be the kind of mother said really wood in imperceptibly. People for a long time, wood is still very shy, he often to repeat her mother's words. "Mom said I was a shy child." When my mother heard the child so evaluation of their own, regret, did not expect to diagnose their unconscious, should be in the hearts of young children branded.济南心理咨询

  在孩子的心目中,大人是了不起的,他们无所不知,无所不能。孩子总是无条件地承认和接受父母对他的评价,不能分析、判断这些评价的正确性。当孩子被父母告知“你是个害羞的孩子”时,他会以为自己真的不善于与人打交道,并产生退避的行为;如果父母说“你怎么这么笨”,他会感到非常紧张,往往表现出更笨。给孩子任意地贴上“标签”,会导致孩子产生各种心理情结。父母的负面评价不仅在当时会令孩子不快,而且会在他的潜意识里留下很深的痕迹。

  In the minds of children, adults are great, they know everything equal to anything. The child is always unconditional recognition and acceptance of his parents' evaluation, can not analyze and judge the correctness of these evaluations. When children are parents told "you are a shy child, he will think you really are not good at dealing with people, and avoidance behavior; if the parents say" how can you be so stupid, he will feel very nervous, often show more stupid. To the child arbitrarily labeled, will lead to a variety of psychological complex children. Negative evaluation of parents not only at that time will make the child unhappy, but also in his subconscious to leave a deep mark.

  除了“你是……”的直接对话,孩子还可能在无意间听到父母在与他人交谈时对自己的评价。这种无意间得到的信息,会和有意识获得信息一样被储存在孩子的大脑里,影响孩子自我概念的形成。很多父母会像牧牧的妈妈一样,以为孩子年纪小,听不懂大人讲的话,人前人后评价孩子的时候便不太注意。波士顿大学心理学教授占恩-波克格里森博士认为:1岁多的孩子其实能够很清楚地听懂大人那些复杂的谈话内容,他们远比大人们想像的要聪明得多!

  Except you are……" The direct dialogue, the child may also inadvertently hear their parents talk to others in their own evaluation. This unintentional information, as well as the conscious access to information stored in the child's brain, affecting the formation of self-concept. Many parents will like the animal husbandry mother, think the child is young, do not understand the words of adults, people will not pay attention to the child after the evaluation of their predecessors. Boston University psychology professor Dr. Gleason believes that ex - pork accounted for more than 1 years of age: children are able to clearly understand the complex adult conversation, they far more than people imagine much smarter!

  一份调查显示:90%在品质、意识和智力方面有出色表现的人,几乎在自己的童年或少年时期都受到过来自亲人的积极暗示,最多的是来自母亲。积极的暗示是表达爱的情感,而不是夸张、夸耀或对缺点的掩饰。用积极、正面的语言肯定孩子,夸大孩子的优点,缩小缺点,营造“我能行”的心理氛围,孩子的好习惯和情绪就会接踵而至,这也是所谓的“暗示教养”。专家认为:积极的暗示,特别是来自亲人、朋友或老师的暗示,几乎肯定会对孩子心理、心智方面产生良好的作用。

  A survey showed that: 90% in the quality, consciousness and intelligence of the outstanding performance of the people, almost in their childhood or adolescence have been a positive hint from their loved ones, most of them from the mother. A positive hint is the expression of love, not an exaggeration, a display, or a cover up for weakness. Use positive language certainly exaggerate the child, the child's strengths, reduce the disadvantages, create a "can do" psychological atmosphere, children's good habits and emotions will follow, this is the so-called "hint of parenting". Experts believe that: positive suggestions, especially from relatives, friends or teachers, almost certainly will have a good effect on the child's psychological, mental.


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