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当孩子犯错时,父母如何有效地批评
日期:2017-05-31 17:41:23 来源:www.jnzyxlzx.com

  父母对孩子的爱不仅限于物质上的满足,而是要用心去沟通。比如,每天孩子放学回家,父母问一下:今天过得怎么样?”,要明白孩子内在真正的驱动力是情感。父母平时就需要在孩子心目中建立一个信任感,让孩子感知到自己是被支持的,父母是爱自己的。当孩子犯错时,父母有责任批评和管教。那么,该如何批评才能既有效,而又不伤孩子?根据在青少年心理咨询中的经验,世纪阳光济南心理咨询师建议:在批评和尊重之间,了解孩子的承受能力,并选择适合的批评方式,会帮助父母找到平衡。

  Parents' love for their children is not limited to material satisfaction, but to communicate with the heart. For example, every day children come home from school, their parents ask: how are you doing today? ", to understand children within the real driving force is emotional. Parents usually requires in child mind to create a sense of trust, let the children to perceive yourself to be supported, the parents love their own. When children make mistakes, parents have the responsibility to criticism and discipline. So, how to criticize can both effectively, and does not hurt the child again? According to the experience in adolescent psychological counseling, and jinan century sunshine psychological consultant advice: between criticism and respect, and understanding of the reach of the children, and choose the suitable way of criticism, helps parents find a balance.心理咨询

  一定要就事论事,而不是就一件事否定了孩子的全部。有的家长一发现孩子上网了,马上就批评“你老是上网”怎么怎么的。“老是”这个字眼成为了家长的口头禅,其实才是第二、第三次发现孩子上网,就用“老是”这字眼把孩子上网这事给泛化了,给孩子心里造成了压力,认为家长把自己否定了。有效的说法是:“你现在做的这件事我不是很赞同”。在批评孩子的时候,我们只要明白自己的批评,是为了让他知道做什么样的事会带来什么样的后果,而不是为了伤害他或给他打上“坏孩子”的标签,就不会给孩子造成心理阴影。

  Be sure to say something, not one thing to deny the whole of your child. Some parents immediately criticize "you are always on the Internet" when they find their children on the Internet. Became the parents of the word "always" mantra, the second and the third is found that children get to the Internet, use the word "always" put the children to get to the Internet this matter to generalization, the pressure in the heart, to the child that parents denied himself. The effective saying is, "I don't quite agree with what you're doing." In criticizing a child, as long as we understand his criticism, is to let him know to do what kind of what kind of consequences, not to hurt him or give him a "bad boy" on the label, will not give the child cause psychological shadow.

  家长不能夸大孩子的错。有的家长一旦发现孩子做得不对,马上就借题发挥。比如:“你不好好学习,将来就考不上大学;考不上大学,就找不到好工作;找不到好工作,就连解决温饱都成问题。”这样的批评,会让孩子觉得生活很没意思,既然以后都不会有好结果了,还努力干嘛。

  Parents can't exaggerate their children's mistakes. Some parents, once they find out that their child is doing wrong, will use it immediately. In the future, such as: "you don't study hard, don't go to college; does not go to college, couldn't find a good job, can not find a good job, even adequate food and clothing problem." This kind of criticism can make a child feel life is boring, since will not have good result in the future, still strive for what.

  同一错误,不可因家长的情绪关系,时而批评,时而放任,这样会使孩子难辨是非。这就要求在平时建立家庭的规则,这样在孩子犯错后,批评就更有针对性,对孩子也更有约束力。

  The same mistake, not because of the parent's emotional relationship, sometimes criticism, sometimes laissez-faire, can make the child difficult to distinguish right from wrong. This requires the rules of the family to be established, so that when the child makes a mistake, the criticism is more targeted and the child is more binding.

  批评孩子也要讲究时机。不能在大庭广众面前训斥孩子,需要等孩子平静下来,众人散去后,再单独指出孩子的错误,给予正确的指引。让孩子感知家长只是不赞同其目前所做的事,而对自己仍然是充满关爱的。

  It's also time to criticize your child. Do not scold the child in front of the public, need to wait for the child to calm down, when the people dispersed, then point out the child's mistake separately, give the correct guidance. Let the child know that the parent simply does not approve of what he is doing and is still full of care for himself.


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