日期：2017-09-20 18:17:52 来源：www.jnzyxlzx.com
1, there are people in the home, must say. There are people in the family system that are all part of the system, and everyone has to be admitted, no matter what the man did.
2, some important family events, experiences need to speak, at the same time to explain how to face and deal with problems. For example, when one of your uncles was imprisoned for murder. If you say this is a family shame, do not recognize his uncle, he will have an impact; if he has been responsible for his actions, it will not affect, or have a positive impact.
3, their negative emotions can not find the next generation of complaints. If parents have a lot of negative feelings about something sad, they can't complain to their children, and they can't drag their children into it.
Keep a secret and expose a bad secret. Blake, a family therapist in America, has classified the secret into 4 categories, saying we need to differentiate between good secrets and bad ones.
The good secret that is conducive to our happiness and personal development needs to be preserved. Including the fun of the "sweet secret", such as birthday party planning, proposal and to name the newborn selection; also reflect our fragile, shy and difficult "important secrets", such as in the diary, we think in some intimate moment ear temples whisper, etc..
The secret that seriously hurts the conservative and the excluded is the "bad secret", including "harmful secrets" and "dangerous secrets."". "Harmful secrets" constitute what we often call family secrets, such as the suicide of an older man as a car accident, a half - handed bastard, a brother, etc.. Harmful kept secrets closely in unexpected ways, may also be exposed, perhaps in the one or two generation, they will be on the choice of the way of life around people, affect people's self development, so even if the situation is not an emergency, should also be well prepared for the secret.